Darkness and Illusion

I still feel very confused and hurt and am having a hell of a time letting go of my ego. I was told last night that he would never come back to me and that there was nothing I could do to change that. It stung so badly because it made me feel as if I were not worthy, somehow not good enough. Instead I should realize that this is not the case at all, it's just that the two of us can no longer support a healthy relationship and have done the best thing we know how to do: transform it into something better. How do I know it will be better, though? I don't.

Black Panther came to me this morning and told me to jump into the night, regardless of what I might pounce on. "Embrace the unknown," she whispers. Don't worry about the future and don't try to figure it out with your mind. Confront the fear that you may be less than you truly are, which is to say... perhaps you are not his perfect match. Simply let it BE.

Oh Midnight Jaguar... Wash me with your courage.
And steel me with your grace,
So I may know the value of
The void of time and space.

Teach me all your lessons,
How to face the dark unknown.
Then let me bravely leap
Into the shadows all alone.

Dragonfly also came to me behind Black Panther. He wants to guide me through the mists of illusion to the pathway of transformation. I am incredibly guilty of creating falseness and because of that, I'm having a hard time changing. The illusion here is that I am not good enough but the truth is that I am more than "good enough". This man is moving onward to discover what is right for him and what he feels comfortable with; fortunately our friendship is something we can both be comfortable in and feel grateful for. There is no illusion to that.